October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

“Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control”. –The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Domestic violence is so much more than most people understand it to be. You can be involved with an intimate partner, and their mistreatment might sneak up on you so that you don’t even realize what is happening. For some, it may be too late.

<— The Power and Control Wheel to the left helps identify some of the ways a person can use a pattern of abusive behaviors to gain or maintain power and control over their partner.

Gaslighting is how the abuse works and continues to take effect. You may start to doubt yourself, your feelings and thoughts because your partner has made you believe you are crazy or wrong about what is really happening.

This tactic is so sneaky that even people who are well educated on domestic violence may find themselves in an abusive relationship. It happened to me. At the time, I was working at a local domestic violence/ sexual assault shelter for survivors of intimate partner violence when it happened.

It took me a good minute to realize what was happening before I decided it was best that I leave the relationship. Although this one was not physically abusive, it was emotionally. I was affected by the gaslighting techniques being used. Luckily, I was not in for long before the choice was made to end it, and I was able to leave with a smooth break.

For many survivors, leaving an abusive relationship will take safety planning and lots of support from the outside.

If you are currently experiencing any of these things and want more support, check out my resource page. You are not alone. If you want to tell your story, send me an email. I am here for you.